The Doctor  Who  What?
by K.M. Star
Summary: A small bit skit story of parallel universes, with an amusing conversation between The Doctor, Doctor Who, and the mentioned but never seen The Doctor Who What.    I'd have prerred this as a Script, so it's not my best descriptions, but the dialogue is fu


The Doctor glanced around the pole, scanning the crowd for any signs of his target. On the other side, his tenth incarnation was doing the exact same thing.

"Aren't you…?"

"Doctor Who, at your service," smiled the man. "'Fraid I don't do autographs, though. Takes too much time - ruins paper, loses ink, all that sorta stuff. Sorry. Have you seen a man carrying a device that looked like it was capable of tearing through parallel universes, by the way?"

He stared at the form he'd warn a few hours before, then frowned heavily. "You can't be The Doctor! I'm the Doctor! And I don't bloody well talk like that, so put up whatever fool disguise your using and-"

"Doctor Who, not "The Doctor," and if you're trying to impersonate me you've got a long way to go beyond that!" interrupted the other Time Lord. "For one thing, who in their right mind would call themselves just 'The Doctor?' It's so bloody misleading!"

"I rather like the name," he muttered to himself, before frowning again. "If you're The Doctor…."

"Doctor Who," he corrected. "But if you're also me, in another incarnation, who just so happened to call himself 'The Doctor' in the stupidest impulse of his entire life…"––

"I've done far stupider things. But it would still mean…"

"That you can't possibly be an idiot because you're me! From another dimension," grinned Doctor Who, sticking his hand out and happily crushing his alternate self's hand. "I suppose you're here because of the alternate dimensional tear, too?"

"Yes, I fell back on my way to see Amelia Pond. Wonderful little girl - promised to be gone for only five minutes."

"Really? I'm between partners, myself, since Ionna - Sweetest girl I've ever met by the way - chose to go home and get married to the Spider Prince. Horrible name, wonderful couple. Can't believe I introduced the two… Next thing you know, Hack will be wanting a divorce, or something equally ridiculous…"

"You married JACK? I always figured I at least preferred women…"

"What? No! Jack married some Iris girl - figures she'd be named after a flower. He never did let me meet, her, though, always going on about how I'd steal her away…" He shook his head, before giving The Doctor a small smile. "I think I see our target." He motioned his head a little at the man, a beanpole with glasses as far as The Doctor could tell. He stalked forward, device beeping in his hand until he walked into The Doctor with a tiny squeak.

"Amazing! The inter-dimensional abnormality was a person!" he gawked upwards as he spoke, hands swinging loosely as if he had lost all muscle control. "Simply amazing!"

"Hello! Equally amazing fellow over here - alternate versions, and all!"

"I'm The Doctor," smiled the same, quickly interrupting his fellow. "Now, if you'll just talk with me and not that little pretend over there-"

"Doctor who?"

"Exactly!" grinned the mentioned one. "I knew he'd prefer me. Now, if you'd just follow me - Doctor Who - you can-"

"The Doctor Who what?"

"No, that's a friend of mine. I'd introduce him to you, but he hasn't gone out ever since those cybermen questioned him under the supposition that we were one in the same… Poor chap - countless would-be alien invaders at his doorstep every morning." He sighed.

"If you'd excuse me," interrupted The Doctor, "we really need to stop this before we end up with a problem the exact proportions of Belgium."

"Really?" interrupted Doctor Who. "The closest I've ever gotten is Argentina…"

"Problem|? You mean with my parallel dimensional searcher?""Yes," sighed The Doctor. "It's searching outside of this dimension. And crossing things with others. If we don't destroy it - "'

"What!"

"I keep telling you, that's my friend," interrupted Doctor Who. "The chap's not actually _here. _I mean, he could be, but those Daleks are still chasing after him for that time I slept with their queen…"

"They have a queen, here?"

"Oh, yes, very beautiful. She never did forgive me for when we accidentally found out how to give birth to a race… She's still in bed, you know."

"Wait… you're going to destroy me device? But that's how I found you!" the man protested, pointing to the beeping machine in his hand.

"Thank you," smiled Doctor Who, snatching it up. "I'll make sure to shut it down as soon as your out and back to Amelia Pond - I do so hope she's a cute one in this world. Bye bye!"

The Doctor opened his mouth again, shutting it when a familiar "Whirr" hit his ears, a blue box appearing. A man sauntered out of it, raggedy jacket clinging to his raggedy pants as he blinked out into the sunlight. "Excuse me," smiled The Raggedy Doctor, but do either of you know where I can find an Amelia Pond?"


End file.
